New Year, New Style...?

2011 is coming..
only 9 days left..
right now, i'm in Miri..
my semester break..
i got my result 3 days ago..
and i got the same result as last sem..
no improvement at all..
next sem must be another tough sem for me..
well anyway, i dont want to think about that for now..
now, i want to change my hairstyle..
yup.. it's new year right..?
so, i want a new image..
i am thinking about having a curly hair like this..

or straight hair like this..

which one would be better on me..?
mostly my friends said that curly hair makes me look cute(well, that's what my friends said not me, okay..)
and i want this curly hair too..
BUT.. it's hard too maintain..
i'm kind of girl who looks messy at certain time..
maybe most of the time..
so i don't think curly hair is the best for me..
what about straight hair..?
my friends said my straight hair makes me looks chubby..
you know i hate that word..
moreover, now i gain my weight..
that's mean i have double chin..
and i don't think i straight hair looks better on me too..
*sigh*... though decision, huh..
it's okay.. i'll think about that later..

Happy Birthday to You, Aalyn

It's my Birthday.. YEAY...!!
sound like i'm very happy right..?
duh.. of course i'm happy cause it's my birthday..
it's my 22nd birthday today..
what makes me happy..?
my parent, my siblings and all my friends..
they gave me a wonderful wishes ever for my birthday..
thank you.. thank you very much..
i will treasured this day in my mind.. ;)
but still i feel incomplete for my birthday..
he didn't even wish me a birthday wish.. ;(
but it's alright..
because today i get a chance to talk and chat with him after awhile..
isn't that great..?
after a long time i didn't meet him..
and suddenly today i can chat with him.. even for a short time..
guess that was a precious gift for me on my special day..
now, i am happy.. ;)

Happy~

you should have see me with my new changes..
when i'm all alone, i started to think the way i look now..
it is different from 2 months ago..
i mean WAY too different..
it's not that i have changed my styles or transform my "female" gender hahahaha~..
just that i'm getting "bigger and bigger" each day..
means that i am fat... not exactly that fat..
maybe chubby.. or should i call it 'spare tyre'...
ya i know.. kind of ugly..
and FYI, i have bought some new clothes because i cannot fit in my old clothes anymore.. :-S
this is the picture of me my friends took it yesterday at my campus..

can you see my double chin..??
can you see my stomach..? well, maybe not clearly..
but honestly, i'm getting bigger..
aarrggghhh.. i don't really like it..
starting my new sem with this kind of look are not really good to me..
all my friends keep asking me and keep on telling me about my looks right now..
like "asal ko dh makin sihat ni..? happy sangat ke..? bahagia ke..?"...
it's kind annoys me.. really~..
am i that happy..? hurmm.. maybe..
happy of my single life back..
but seriously.. i hate the way i look right now..
can you imagine how ugly am i right now..?
i am way too short to have this kind of 'chubby' looks..
look like i am some kind of ball..
fat and short.. arrggghhh..
help me.. i don't want to be happy in this way..

Things that remind me of him..

this bracelet really gave me a special memories of him.. he bought this on 23rd April 2010.. i still remember it was on Friday.. we hang out at Pasar Seni cause we wanted to buy my friends a birthday gift.. actually before that, early in the morning, about 2a.m., he told me about his feeling towards me.. and when we hang out that time, he didn't talk too much because he said he was shy and scared to talk with me about what he just told me before.. and i just laugh at him.. he's kind of cute.. really.. and i really miss him right now.. and i wondering if he miss me too.. naaah.. i guess not.. he is happy with someone else.. it's just me, the one that still have this feeling towards him.. i know i made some mistake and i deserved this.. serve my right, right..? but who cares.. it is not wrong to loving someone.. it is not a crime, right..?

and this picture, i bet you know what it is.. a necklace.. also from him.. i'm not sure he gave it to me or not.. but we exchange our necklace.. he wears mine and i'm wearing his.. and i still remember when he gave this to me.. it was on my final exam.. 30th April 2010.. when i had my math paper.. that was a bad day actually.. cause i can't answer my math paper.. plus i have a bad mood that day.. but he did make my day.. he gave me this idea of exchanged our necklace.. and i was so happy.. this necklace means a lot to him but he risk it and ask me to have it.. it's like i've been appreciated.. :) but i know i have to give him back this necklace when we meet next month.. i wish i could kept this necklace.. it means a lot to me.. :(

every single memories of me and him, i will keep it and remains forever even though he throw away all those memories.. and what i learned in this chapter of my love story is, i should take caution whenever it comes to love things.. sweet words and beautiful promises wont keep the love last forever.. but it do gives me a broken heart.. and i know broken heart really hard to mend..

am i...?

am i bad..?
hurmm.. lots of people out there says YES for me..
well.. all i can say i'm just a human alright..
sometimes i may hurt people feelings..
sometimes i may laugh at those people mistakes..
i know it is really mean..
but it just the way i am...
i know i may annoyed some others people..
ya ya ya... 'think before u act'..
i know you will say that..
but sometimes u just can't think before u act..
or should i say, 'think before you say something'..
naa... who cares...
i got my own way.. and if u dont like me.. then fuck off..
that's all i can say...

Reaching Out

i wake up every morning and put on my face..
another day that i have to get through..
wishing it will be another good day..
where it can give me a beautiful memories..
looking for the right things to happen in my life..
if everyday was as good as the was..
then i cant wait to see tomorrow...
but everyday aint gonna be like the day was..
everyday is different..
never knows what will happen now or in the future..
right now all i can do is..
just trying to reach out for someone..
someone to make my everyday filled with miracle..
the miracle that i wanted to witness..
miracle that can give me to a meaningful life to be..
isn't it where life should be..?

LiFe

what does life means to you?
This question keep on playing in my head..
life sometimes bring you happiness..
it gives you smile..
it gives you laughter..
it gives you joy..
it gives you pleasure..
but sometimes it bring you sadness..
it gives you tears..
it gives you hurt..
it gives you pain..
some says life is just like a game..
there are ups and downs..
but in life you have to move on..
and leaves the past behind..
without knowing what will life bring you to..
will it bring you the happiness as you wish for?
will it bring you the sadness that you wanted to run away from?
nobody knows..
somesays what past is past..
just leave it all behind..
but for me..
past is history..
it brought to where you are right now..
without it you would not have what you have right now..
history are meant to be remember..
but does all of the past need to be remember?
all the hurt?
all the pain?
all the tears?
or just the happiness?
only the laughter?
only the smile?
only the joy?
so that we'll moves on..?
and now i'm still looking for the answer....
what does life means to you?